it's been almost 24 hrs. since the envents of yesterday unfolded. my dad put me out by saying that the letter i sent her was threatening. (it's a different letter than posted. that was used to vent in order to come across more calm and under control) and it's not threatening. the only thing that could possible be taken as threatening is the fact that i said she is going to get what's coming to her. well she is! i never said i was going to do anything to her, who ever is planning this is going to do it to her (i.e. god). oh yeah and i called her a psycho-bitch, but that isn't fair since it is true.

why doesn't he stick up for me?! i'm his flesh and blood. she wont be there for him when he is old and it is getting to the point that i might not be. guess he forgot what it was like to be in this spot. guess he didn't learn from what his dad did to him. well i will be making a consious effort and will not make his mistakes.

he is supposed to be coming up here on saturday. oh-goodie! all i know is she better not come up here too or i will call the police and have her escorted from the school. i think once i get all my stuff i will place a restraining order on her and her daughters. that way if she tries to say anything to me i wont say anything back to her just take her to court. i hope she doesn't think that she can control or hurt me. unlike my father i have a backbone. and if he wont stand up for me, i will stand up for myself.

right now all i am feeling is empty, lost, alone, crazy, and sad. i hate the fact that i am feeling these feelings. i had thought that once i got to school i would never have to deal with this psycho meniplative bullshit. guess i was wrong. but i guess it takes a lot of crap to get even half way close to a happy ending.